Jeff Pearlman

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A sphincter says what?

Screen Shot 2019-06-18 at 6.17.41 PM

Just in case you missed this, two amazing things have taken place in the world of nutjobs pretending to channel in the lord.

First, the New York Times ran this piece on Jerry Falwell, Jr. and the pool boy. It’s, um, revealing.

Second, Paula White-Cain, some sort of clergy who apparently knows what God is thinking, spoke at the #MAGA rally in Orlando tonight and said, “A demonic network that has been united against President Trump needs to be broken in the name of Jesus!”

Then the attendees cheered.

And, truly, who can blame them? I hate demonic networks. Hate, hate, hate them. A demonic network brought us Pauly Shore, a second Mama Mia film, the Ken Griffey-for-Claudell Washington trade, Mariah Carey as an American Idol judge, cottage cheese, Orange Vanilla Coca-Cola, the numbers 17, 42 and eight, as well as the ear hair that tends to emerge from my lobes with increased frequency as I age.

So, I feel you, Paula. I do.

But here’s my question—asked with sincerity: Where were you? Where were you when Donald Trump called for the death penalty for the Central Park 5? Where were you when Donald Trump lied about going to Ground Zero after 9.11? Where were you when he said he had proof the sitting president was a Kenyan-born Muslim? Where were you when he mocked a 4 1/2-year POW and a Gold Star family? Where were you when he approved the locking up of immigrants in cages? Where were you when he fucked the porn star 10 days after the birth of his son?

Because while I am, indeed, a fan of destroying demonic networks, I am concerned that, at times, the network whereof we speak is not the network we should eradicate.

  • John Zeleznik

    42? The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything? I suppose that’d be part of her demonic network.

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Once again, Jeff Pearlman has produced an exhaustively researched, elegantly written book that re-creates one of the most colorful and memorable teams of the modern era. No basketball fan's bookshelf will be complete without it.

— Seth Davis, author of Wooden: A Coach's Life