Jeff Pearlman

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Book giveaway: Name the statue …

So I haven’t had a contest here in quite a while. Today, in honor of Friday, Wayne Chrebet, my bloodied colon and John Oates, I offer this …

Name the Florida Marlins new ugly-ass outfield statue. The name can be as many words as possible. One. Ten. Matters not. Post your answers in the Comments section, with an e-mail. The winner, announced early next week, snags a signed copy of Sweetness, as well as the audio version of the book.


  • Jesh Humphrey

    Dock Ellis Island

  • Lee Horton


  • LugubriousG

    Mount Shitmore.

  • Barry

    This is Miami on drugs. Any Questions?

  • Peter

    “2.4 Billion dollar Stadium and all the Marlins Paid for was this Lousy Statue”

  • Joe

    Here are two.

    1. Eye cancer

    2. Miserable vomitious mass (from The Princess Bride).

  • Rodrick Darby

    “Are You Sure This Is What Peyton Asked For?”

  • Mike

    “Miami Vice” or “Marlin Over Miami”

  • Eric Neuteboom

    The Ozzie Guillen Rage Boner.

  • Stephen Forsha

    Jaws shits Froot Loops

  • Riccardo Moore

    Mt.Marine Biology

  • Antonio D’Arcangelis

    The Island of Misfit Aborted Sea Creature Fetuses

  • Peter

    My not so little friend…

  • PSC

    Jimmy Buffet’s Fever Dream

  • Adam

    The Loria LMFAO

  • J tama

    Marlin Masterpiece of shit

  • Asherdan

    Clown Seafood Vomit

  • Mike

    Carmen Miranda

  • H(ome) R(un) Pufnstuf.

  • Kevin B.

    Big Trouble in Little Havana
    The Pastel Death
    The Farce in Marlins Park
    South Beach Suicide Watch

  • Daniel

    Reverberation Head Screws

  • Kevin B.

    A Long Strange Trip with the Incredible Mr. Limpet
    Why We Lost Nemo in the First Place
    What Lebron Did With His Talents in South Beach

  • Steve

    Lady Gaga’s Menstrual Drippings

  • Mike Engle

    “Mount F*cking Ridiculous.”

  • Agador Sparticus

  • Nate L.

    Senor Wonka, I presume?

  • BA

    The Little “Lame”-ana Apple

  • Luke

    2001: An Ocean Oddesey.

  • Ness

    Lucy In The Sky With Marlins

  • Jeremiah S

    1. Jimmy Buffett’s Tombstone
    2. The Guy Harvey’s Wet Dream

  • Geoff S

    Sgt. Peppers Lonely Home Run Island

  • Kevin B.

    The Charlie Tuna Memorial Mausoleum & Gift Shop
    Billy The Marlin’s Man Cave

  • Dylan

    A Good Idea On Coke
    Pewee’s Wheelhouse
    A Timothy Leary Sunrise

  • Ben

    Art Dreko
    Nouveau Fishe

  • Lucy S.


    “Public Restroom’

    ‘I Went to See The Marlins and All I Saw Was This Stupid Statue”

    ‘Side Effects Include Nausea and Blindness’

    ‘Do Not Look Directly At The Art’

    ‘This is Your Brain on Drugs’

    “The True Face of Sarah Palin’

    Or alternately:

    “Jeff’s Colon: The Interior’ 😀

    Heh this is fun! ^^

Showtime Book
Love Me, Hate Me Barry Bonds Book
Sweetness Walter Peyton Book
The Bad Guys Won Book
The Rocket that Fell to Earth Book
Boys Will Be Boys Book

Once again, Jeff Pearlman has produced an exhaustively researched, elegantly written book that re-creates one of the most colorful and memorable teams of the modern era. No basketball fan's bookshelf will be complete without it.

— Seth Davis, author of Wooden: A Coach's Life