I am a hypochondriac who, every few months, finds a new reason to think he’s dying.
I’ve found a new reason.
Headaches.
Headaches.
Headaches.
Left side, sorta dull, but have had them every day for several weeks. The problem with being a hypochondriac with a long history is you know you’re a hypochondriac with a long history. So you become mental, either ignoring the pain because, hey, you’re a hypo or paying excessive attention to the pain because, hey, you’re a hypo. I go through the following thought process:
“It’s a tumor.”
“It’s not a tumor, you’re a hypo.”
“Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you. It’s a tumor.”
“Uhg, remember the time you swore you had a tumor?”
“Yes.”
“Well, what ever happened?”
“That was different.”
“How?”
“Well, this time it’s real.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is.”
“It’s not a tumor. It’s headaches. Lots of people have them. You’re stressed. You don’t sleep enough. You …”
“But my head hurts.”
“Well, then go see a doctor.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m a hypochondriac.”
