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So I received this e-mail the other day …

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I’m a pretty happy UD grad. The school was great, the newspaper experience was life changing. So I called, because I’d also received two postcards asking that I update the information.

Guy answered the phone. Started talking. “As you know, we’re putting together an alumni directory dating back through the years. So I just want to verify some information, and of course at the end you’ll have an opportunity to order your own copy of—”


I hung up.

I fucking hung up.

I know that, deep down, alumni relations are are all money. Do people at Delaware see us as valuable beyond donations? No. But this felt slicker and grosser than usual. It was using provided-in-good-faith information to coerce me into buying something. It was a “HEY, THANKS FOR BEING AN ALUM. WE VALUE YOU” disguise, with a “HEY, GIVE US MORE DOUGH!” slickster beneath.

I’m pissed.

Jeff Pearlman is a writer.