Read The Blog

smile_alligatorlincecum1

When Bud Selig initially introduced the idea that the All-Star Game winner gets home-field advantage in the World Series, I thought, “Bravo!” At long last, the modern ballplayer will take this event as seriously as Ruppert Jones did back in ’84.

Alas, last night’s game was another yawner. Players laughing, cutting up, etc. Some took it seriously, others clearly didn’t. It was better than the 2002 monstrosity, during which:

A. Torii Hunter robbed Barry Bonds’ homer, then found himself atop the cheater’s pimpled shoulders.

B. We were given a tie.

C. Selig was officially cemented as a turd.

But, really, guys just don’t care. They don’t. Not. At. All.

Hence, my idea: Immediately after future All-Star Games, the losing team is fed to gators. Not small ones, either, like from the crappy 1980 film, Alligator. No, the players are led to a swamp and, one by one, coated in cow blood and pushed into a swamp. Farewell, David Wright. Adios, Albert Pujols. Goodbye, K-Rod.

Admittedly, there would be some liability issues.

But the games would kick ass.

Jeff Pearlman is a writer.