Jeff Pearlman

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I cleaned someone’s piss

Screen Shot 2018-08-10 at 9.42.46 AM

Arrived at the local Bruegger’s Bagels today for some writing. Went to use the bathroom. Was greeted by the above image.

It’s surely a familiar sight for men everywhere—and women forced to share toilets with men. Namely, someone lazily failed to lift the seat, then piss sprinkled on it, then walked away. In many respects, the image speaks to every complaint I have about humanity. Selfishness. Indifference. A casual refusal to take any sort of responsibility. An unwillingness to think of the feelings of others.

Or, put differently, I wound up cleaning the piss. I grabbed a thick spiral of toilet paper, wrapped it together, held up my nose and wiped it off the seat.

And I wonder—did the pisser even ponder such a possibility? Did he consciously think, “Hmm, by not cleaning my own urine I’m leaving it for someone else?” Probably not. But that’s a huge chunk of the issue. We don’t think. We don’t consider. We just … do.

We just do.

  • Paul C

    There is something about men that makes us: (a) so lazy that they can’t be bothered to spare the micro-minimal energy to lift that damn seat; (b) so full of baseless self-confidence that we believe we can somehow “thread the needle,” when no man since the beginning of time ever has; and (c) so lacking in empathy that we care not a fig for the sensibilities of those who will be coming in after us.

Showtime Book
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Once again, Jeff Pearlman has produced an exhaustively researched, elegantly written book that re-creates one of the most colorful and memorable teams of the modern era. No basketball fan's bookshelf will be complete without it.

— Seth Davis, author of Wooden: A Coach's Life