In an effort to try and seem cool and professional, I’m required by law to write this biography in the third person—as if someone has been hired by Jeff Pearlman to write a bio of Jeff Pearlman.

Eh, that’s not really my style.

So, to be clear. It’s me! Jeff Pearlman! I’m the New York Times best-selling author of eight books. My latest release, “Football for a Buck: The Crazy Rise and Crazier Demise of the USFL,” hits stores Sept. 11, 2018 and is available now in myriad places. I am a former Sports Illustrated senior writer, a former ESPN.com columnist and a former staff writer for Newsday and The (Nashville) Tennessean. I write a weekly column for The Athletic, and contribute to a whole bunch of places, ranging from Bleacher Report to the Wall Street Journal to Sports Illustrated to CNN.com. I also co-host the Two Writers Slinging Yang podcast as a solo artist. I’m a habitual blogger, an addicted Tweeter and a guy who knows how lucky and fortunate he is to make his career as a writer/author/Tom Cruise lookalike. There are plenty of people in this world who hate their jobs; hate starting the day; hate what they do and dream of retirement.

That’s not me. I’m the luckiest guy in the world. I do what I love.

If you e-mail me, I will always write back—unless you insult my mother or refer to me as Larry. I’m a former (awful) cross country and track runner at the University of Delaware, I’m a lover of all things Hall and Oates, I have ridiculously thin skin and my wife is only 5-feet tall. We have two children, and a dog, Norma, named after a grandmother.

Of late, I’ve taken to wearing my T-shirts inside out. Which helps explain why, in the above photograph, my T-shirt is inside out.

Some quick facts:

Born and raised: The mean streets of Mahopac, N.Y.

College: University of Delaware.

Wife: The stupendous Catherine Pearlman.

Kids: Casey, Emmett, Enrique, Mel, John, John II, Steve, Edward, Bobby, Malik, Yoba.

Highest moment (not included cliched stuff like wedding, arrival of kids): Being hired by Sports Illustrated after, 15 years earlier, guaranteeing my mom I’d one day work for Sports Illustrated (true story).

Lowest moment: Sitting in my NYC apartment in 1999 and being told my Grandma Marta was dead.

Five favorite musical artists: Hall and Oates. Tupac. A Tribe Called Quest. Blind Melon. MC White Owl.

Five favorite athletes: Ken Griffey, Sr., Garry Templeton, J.R. Richard, Wesley Walker, Ken O’Brien.

Greatest Athletic Achievement: Walking on to the University of Delaware track and cross country teams.

Lowest Athletic Non-Achievement: Placing last in the mile at the East Coast Conference indoor track and field championships, 1991.

Favorite writing spot: Anywhere with hot drinks, wood tables, outlets and some mojo.

Favorite word: Serendipity.

The things I love the most …: My family, writing, playing hoops.

The things I hate the most …: iPhones, loud iPhone talkers, loud iPhone talkers in coffee shops.