Jeff Pearlman

  • Twitter Icon
  • Twitter Icon
  • Twitter Icon

Mugged in Rome

So tonight, at around 10 o’clock, I decided to take a run through the streets of Rome.

I know … I know—dumb. But, hey, I like running. Hence, I took off, darted down some unknown streets, around a corner, through a narrow passage, then—crap! Surrounded. There were seven of them. All in their early 20s (I’d guess), all speaking Italian, all armed with guns and knives. I didn’t know what to do. My head told me to raise my hands and beg sympathetically. But that would be the cowardly way out—and I’m no coward.

Instead, I stood my ground, stared at the man in front of me—the one with his arms covered in Nazi tattoos—and said, “Bring it on, bitch! I’m an American!” He charged toward me, and I grabbed his arm and, somehow, flipped him over my head at two of his friends. Meanwhile, someone to my left aimed his gun toward my head. I kicked it out of his hand, simultaneously aiming it toward the head of another attacker, who passed out when the 45 nailed him. With that, the others ran away—but not before one scratched me across the neck with a shard of glass.

You don’t mess with the U.S.A. You just don’t.

(Or I cut myself shaving)

PS: GREAT trip, by the way. Amazing city, amazing food, amazing culture. I could live here and be quite happy.

PPS: Unsolicited book selection: Growing Up by Russell Baker. I know … I know—it came out in 1982. I’d always wanted to read it … had been my Grandma Marta’s favorite. But I never did, until now. Fantastic.

  • Dr. K

    Goddam Italian razors.

  • http://earnyourdonuts.blogspot.com Brian

    Looking forward to more posts about your trip. My wife and I had only 3 days in Rome as part of a guided bus tour through Italy. We could have spent months there.

    (Florence, Pisa, San Giamignano, and Venice were all amazing, too, though.)

  • Alan

    You really shouldn’t try shaving with Crocodile Dundee’s knife. How did you get it through Customs?

  • http://wwww.rachelcericola.com rachelc

    Alan’s post made me laugh. I was going to ask if you shaved with a machete.

  • DG

    What the hell are you shaving with?????????

  • Kevin

    Most intersting post. Ever.

  • blmeanie

    seriously, with all of your self portrait photos I would never have guessed you shaved at all :)

    btw – love the math problems to verify we are human posters…bet it keeps some posts out with how tough they are though.

  • Horace

    San Gimignano is incredible.

    Also, the horse race in Siena in August is a must.

  • jmw

    Don’t shave drunk.

Showtime Book
Love Me, Hate Me Barry Bonds Book
Sweetness Walter Peyton Book
The Bad Guys Won Book
The Rocket that Fell to Earth Book
Boys Will Be Boys Book

Once again, Jeff Pearlman has produced an exhaustively researched, elegantly written book that re-creates one of the most colorful and memorable teams of the modern era. No basketball fan's bookshelf will be complete without it.

— Seth Davis, author of Wooden: A Coach's Life