Jeff Pearlman

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Roy Moore will likely win tonight

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Roy Moore will likely win tonight—because it’s Alabama.

I know I’m not supposed to write such a thing. I’m supposed to talk long and lovingly of the wonderful southern state, what with its charm and hospitality and all the rich charm that one must experience to know. Well, I’ve been to Alabama many times. Back when I was a staffer at The Tennessean I took myriad trips to the state. My second-ever marathon was in Huntsville. I’ve never had much bad to say about Alabama, about its people, about its food and lodging.

But I’ll say this: Alabama deserves Roy Moore. It does. It deserves a bigot, a homophobe, a moron, a toolbag. It deserves a man who thinks the Bible is literally God’s word. It deserves a man who thinks a good guy with a gun is every guy with a gun. It deserves a man who speaks warmly of the days before equal rights; who looks at women as lesser and married a person who brags of their open-mindedness by bragging of their attorney—”a Jew.”

Alabama deserves Roy Moore, because it has a long history of underfunding education; of ignoring science; of placing religion before reason.

It deserves Roy Moore, because Roy Moore is a laughingstock.

And so is his state.

 * Unless Doug Jones wins. Then we’re all good!

  • Ted Mark

    When I heard Trump won the state by 29 points I realized there’s no way Jones gets elected. You’re right–Until Alabama proves otherwise, Moore will be the face of all Alabamans, a distinction they will have earned through willful and angry stupidity.

    • Ted Mark

      Well, I got that wrong. Turns out only 49% of Alabama voters are willfully stupid.

      • Paul C

        No other way to describe it, alas. As Charlie Pierce pointed out (link in Jeff’s twitter yesterday pre-election) the OUT OF STATE carpetbaggers like Steve Bannon, Milwaukee “Sheriff” and bizarre medal-collector Doug Clark, failed Paul Ryan primary challenger Paul Nehlen, and TX Congressman twit Louie Gohmert took turns lecturing Alabamians (yes, Alabamians, not “Alabamans” as they kept saying) about how they should not let those “outsiders” tell them what to do. Ay, caramba. (Of course, Jones himself is, you guessed it, a native Alabamian.)

        I wonder what the vote percentages would have been if Alabama, like a lot of states “down there” didn’t systematically disqualify voters from groups they think don’t support the Republicrats?

  • Rd McGuire

    Jeff
    I love and live in Alabama
    Your bias as a journalist is so over the top in this post
    No wom
    No wonder trump got elected as a blow back from your condescending attitude
    By the way I voted for Doug jones even if he’s an idiot too

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Once again, Jeff Pearlman has produced an exhaustively researched, elegantly written book that re-creates one of the most colorful and memorable teams of the modern era. No basketball fan's bookshelf will be complete without it.

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