Jeff Pearlman

  • Twitter Icon
  • Twitter Icon
  • Twitter Icon
Screen Shot 2014-01-06 at 12.04.19 AM

The Porno Under the bed (A Cautionary Tale)

So yesterday evening, while cleaning under the bed, the wife pulled out the above video, “Poniendote Agatas,” and said, “Here’s the porno!”

We both laughed.

Three summers ago, we did a house swap with a family from Arbucies, Spain. They lived in our home for three weeks, we lived in theirs. It was a wonderful experience. Their pad was awesome, only an hour outside of Barcelona, blah … blah. We arrived in Arbucies the evening before they were scheduled to leave for America. So they kindly picked us up from the airport, and we stayed with them that night.

Ba-dump!

Ba-dump!

Ba-dump!

“What is that?” the wife said

“What?” I replied, sleepily.

“That!”

Ba-dump!

They were having sex.

Loud, bed-banging sex.

“I don’t want to hear this,” the wife said. “They’re gonna be in our bed tomorrow night.”

“Eh, big deal,” I said.

•••

Fast forward—eight months later. I’m sitting in a Panera, writing. The wife calls.

“I have a weird question for you,” she said. “Not a big deal, but are you into Spanish porno, because I found one under the bed …”

“No,” I said. “Seriously, I have no idea how that …”

The lightbulb hit both of us at the same time.

Ew.

  • Gregory Hardy

    Spanish Popeye nods his approval.

    “Store operators have exploited a loophole in the law permitting businesses with at least 60 percent non-X-rated merchandise to operate outside so-called adult entertainment zones. These stores often put large racks of instructional golf videos and ‘Ozzie and Harriet’ episodes, which stand gathering dust between racks and racks of pornographic movies. In enforcement lingo, this is known as ‘sham compliance.’ Robert Sacklow, the inexhaustible buildings inspector for the Office of Midtown Enforcement, calls the merchandise ‘Spanish Popeye.’ The term stems from a sex shop he once inspected in the Bronx that had 12,000 X-rated videos — and a single wall covered with 18,000 copies of Popeye cartoon videos dubbed in Spanish.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2004/09/27/nyregion/27porn.html?_r=0

  • Bobby Fetter

    nice beaver shot

Showtime Book
Love Me, Hate Me Barry Bonds Book
Sweetness Walter Peyton Book
The Bad Guys Won Book
The Rocket that Fell to Earth Book
Boys Will Be Boys Book

Once again, Jeff Pearlman has produced an exhaustively researched, elegantly written book that re-creates one of the most colorful and memorable teams of the modern era. No basketball fan's bookshelf will be complete without it.

— Seth Davis, author of Wooden: A Coach's Life