Jeff Pearlman

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The secret life of the underwear champ

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Just returned from a dermatologist appointment. Doctor did a thorough skin check. First, lie on your back. Then, roll over.

OK.

“Is it OK if I check under your underwear?”

Sure.

I reach back to pull down my underwear, and grab my own bare ass. Why? Because there’s a Grand Canyon-sized hole in my Hanes. “Oh my God!” I say aloud. “That’s too embarrassing.”

“Don’t worry,” the doctor says with a laugh. “I won’t tell your wife.”

I don’t even hesitate. “Oh, no way,” I say. “I have to tell her. She’ll love this one.”

I tell her via phone. She laughs for a solid five seconds.

That’s how you know you have a good marriage.

PS: Making matters worse, just went down to show the wife my underwear tear and noticed this in my favorite writing shorts …

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Showtime Book
Love Me, Hate Me Barry Bonds Book
Sweetness Walter Peyton Book
The Bad Guys Won Book
The Rocket that Fell to Earth Book
Boys Will Be Boys Book

Once again, Jeff Pearlman has produced an exhaustively researched, elegantly written book that re-creates one of the most colorful and memorable teams of the modern era. No basketball fan's bookshelf will be complete without it.

— Seth Davis, author of Wooden: A Coach's Life