Jeff Pearlman

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Wedgie in the wilderness

Screen Shot 2019-04-15 at 1.24.10 PM

Took a hike with the wife yesterday. She woke me at 5:40 am so we could roam the hills of Southern California, watch the sun rise, experience nature with no one else around.

Then she took a photo of me picking a wedgie.

I told her to DM me the image, which she found strange. But here’s the weird thing: Of all the embarrassing things in the photo, the wedgie ranks a distant fourth or fifth. I’m wearing an inauthentic NYC winter cap I got for free at a cousin’s Bar Mitzvah. My sweatshirt features Mickey Mouse, and was bought at Target for $19. And, despite having worn it yesterday on a hike, I’m wearing it today as well. The shorts, perfectly baggy in 2002, around probably three sizes too big. I’m looking down because I’m irrationally terrified of stepping on a snake—even though there was no reason to think there’d be a snake. My bottle …

Well, the bottle is solid.

Point is—yes, I had a wedgie. Which, in crass speak, means the fabric of my underwear got wedged in between the cracks of my anus.

But the morning was lovely.

 

Showtime Book
Love Me, Hate Me Barry Bonds Book
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Once again, Jeff Pearlman has produced an exhaustively researched, elegantly written book that re-creates one of the most colorful and memorable teams of the modern era. No basketball fan's bookshelf will be complete without it.

— Seth Davis, author of Wooden: A Coach's Life